Thank you, Steve Harvey! My Memo to Smith Publicity Employees

Steve Harvey is having a rough time, all because of a heartfelt, if somewhat stern memo he sent to his employees. (see the story here.) I feel for Steve, and in a show of support, I've followed suit and issued my own memo.

I feel your pain, Steve. 🙂

Good afternoon, Smith Publicity employees.

I’d like you all to review and adhere to the following notes and rules.

There will be no meetings in my office. No stopping by or popping in. NO ONE. EVER.

Do not come to my office unless invited.

Do not open my office door, nor touch any part of the door. In fact, do not even look at my office door. In fact, do not look anywhere within 10 feet of my office door.

Do not gaze upon my countenance, nor look me in the eye.

In fact, never speak to me, unless I deem you worthy of speaking to.

You must schedule an appointment for any interaction.

Do not approach me unless I ask to speak with you directly.

I am seeking more free time for me throughout the day. Because, it is all about me.

I am far, far too important to be bothered by you.

Do not wait in any hallway to speak to me. I detest unrequested interaction. Please make an appointment.

Do not attempt to walk with me.

If you’re reading this, yes, I mean you.

Everyone, do not take offense to the new way of doing business. It is for the good of my personal life and enjoyment.

It’s all about me.

Thank you all,

Dan Smith

14 Responses

  1. Hilarious post ... bravo, Dan!
  2. ???
  3. Love it!!! Staff reaction??? :)
  4. I like your memo better than mine!
  5. You are one of the most talented writers on the entire Internet!
  6. This was a feast for the eyes!
  7. Save up your money for a rainy day.
  8. You sure know how to make a squirrel smile.
  9. Do you know someone named Fred?
  10. Don't forget the grilled onions!
  11. Way to go Edward. This blog is amazing!
  12. No one can ever say this site is boring!
  13. Would you like some popcorn?
  14. These two are some real messy eaters!

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